Self reflecting

I have always been a private person. I don't like to share my feelings and thoughts because it makes me feel vulnerable. This has protected me from getting hurt, but has also kept me from getting close to people. I see this now.

I was never good at looking in the mirror. The person I saw was always an inaccurate version of myself. This was the case with real mirrors, but also with the ones in my head. The ones in which I view my own personality. The image of myself that I created in my head was always more negative than how other people saw me. I see this now.

When I met new people, or even when I hung around with my oldest friends, my assumption was always that they didn't like me. I always saw myself as the third wheel, the person that no one wants to be around but they don't dare tell. I saw the people who loved me most as people who despised me. This did not only hurt me, it hurt them too. I see this now.

It has always been a struggle for me to fail. I have to succeed or otherwise I will be punished. This doesn't have to be something big, it can be something as small as having to skip a meal or work out some more. Failing is a part of life. If everything was a success, life wouldn't be worth living. Self-destructive behavior is unnecessary. I see this now.

Looking back at things you've been through and things you've accomplished is what makes you move forward in life. For me it is what makes me strive to improve and change myself. Looking back doesn't only mean pointing out your faults. You should also look back at some improvements you have made.

Sometimes when you're in a situation you think is never going to get better self reflection is the solution. When you're unhappy, you're the only one able to change it. It won't happen over night.

I have been through some tough periods in my life. I got out of them on my own. Maybe I shouldn't have, maybe I should've asked for help. With help I probably would've been back on my feet quicker. I do however have a sense of pride in doing it alone. Sometimes that's how it works. The quickest way out isn't always the best. Regaining happiness on my own took strength and time. But I did it.

My way to ombre hair..

Hi person who decided to read my blog :)

I am just really in the blogging mood so this is my second post of today. Yay :D

Just the other day I decided to ombre my hair, if you dont know what that is.. Here are some examples:

Lauren Conrad

Miley Cyrus

Selena Gomez



It is basically very low roots, but you dont have to dye all your hair and let it grow out, you can just do it yourself!

Now I'll explain how I did mine, this is maybe a very bad way but it worked for me.

I used:
Syoss lightner kit 0-12
Toothbrush
Towel
Old clothes
Alarmclock

Make sure everything is ready when you start

First just mix the dye with the powder and the mixing stuff

Put on old clothes because they might get dye on them, and then put a towel aroound your shoulders and neck

After you've done that, you'll start with the ends of your hair. Only the last 3 centimeters of your hair at first!
These ends will then become just a tad blonder than the rest of your hair to make it look more 'natural'

Leave your hair alone now for about 5 minutes

Now decide where you want your lighter hair to start, I chose to have it almost on the same line as my chin because thats what I thought would look best on me. If you have a fringe or bangs you might want to do the front a bit higher than the back

Start applying the rest of the dye to the places you want blonder/lighter brown and make sure you cover the ends again.

Use the toothbrush to fade the 'line' between dark and light really well so you dont get a stripe

Leave the dye in your hair for the advised time now (with my kit 45 minutes) 

Wash it out and use the conditioner in your dye kit so your hair wont be too damaged.


Et voila! Your ombre hair is done!


Now you have to take good care of it because bleaching your hair is very bad, so make sure for at least the next week, when you wash your hair, wash it and then apply conditioner and leave it on for 5 minutes until rinsing.
I also have oil stuff which I put in my hair every night and makes my hair look super greasy, but when I wash it out in the morning my hair looks healthy and taken care of. I think the oil stuff is also from Syoss.
Never blowdry, straighten or curl your hair without heatprotection because that can damage your hair very badly.

Good luck!
Post pictures of your ombre hair and I'll love to check them out!

xx Lena

Youtuber Madness, my top 6

Hey dear few readers
Sooo I just found out people have actually read this blog and I decided to do another blog post :)
Thank you for reading this! If you have ideas or comments, please comment below!

Lately I've been really into youtubers
Youtubers are like vloggers, video bloggers.
There are different kinds of youtubers; beautyvloggers, funny ones etc.
Here comes my list of favorite youtubers, and be aware, most of them are CUTEE!

1. Zoe Sugg|Zoella
This one is definitely my favorite, she does beauty vlogs but also funny posts and really serious things. She's really beautiful and enjoyable to watch. She often does videos with her best friend Louise (Sprinkleofglitter on youtube, also nice to check out) in which they have fun and do friendship tags etc.
Zoe is definitely worth your time checking out!
Her blog: http://zoella.co.uk/
Her youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/zoella280390

2. Marcus Butler|MarcusButlerTV
Yeah, main point... he's cute, funny and has a british accent. What more is needfull to say?
He makes really funny videos in which he explains how clumsy he can be. He also does a lot of videos featuring other youtubers and has a special way of saying 'Helloooo' at the beginning of each video. I absolutely adore him!
His youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MarcusButlerTV

3. Alfie Deyes|PointlessBlog
He makes funny vlogs explaining what he thinks about things, he also coorporates with loads of other youtubers AND is cute. He always makes me smile because he is extremely funny.
His youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/PointlessBlog

4. Jack and Finn Harries|Jacksgap
These twins are amazing! they have got it all... cute, funny, awesome, talented etc. Me and my friends always fight over who gets to have who :P
Jack has started a youtube channel a couple of years ago because he had a gap year after graduation, he got many viewers and made a new video every week and then the plot turns with his video 'twins' which features his twin brother Finn whom he never talked about before. Ah well, one thing led to another and now they have nearly 2 million subscribers and are still awesome. They make videos of everything and are really entertaining.
Their youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/JacksGap (It's Jacks channel so he appears more oftenly)

5. Tyler Oakley|Tyleroakley
This guy makes the funniest videos ever! He's gay and proud of it and it shows. He often says he wants so sit on peoples faces and looves one direction. He makes very funny vlogs and he is very helpful for closeted gays everywhere which makes him very happy! He always has funny comments and has many kinds of videos but one thing is guaranteed: he's always funny.
His youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/tyleroakley

6. Joe Sugg|ThatcherJoe
As you might notice, this is Zoe's brother. He is a bit younger than her and they have the most adorable videos together. Joe himself is also really funny and makes videos mostly with other youtubers. I personally really like his hair :D He oftenly acts a bit immature but that creates the most funny and awkward situations ever! Looking for a laugh? laugh with Joe, because he's funny and cute and I think he would be a really friendly person to meet in reallife.
His youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/ThatcherJoe



These are mainly the people I watch on youtube but I also enjoy exploring youtube a bit
Do you have favorite youtubers?

xx Lena

Hellooo, I am...

Hey,
I dont need to tell much about myself except that I started this blog because i need an outlet for my thoughts and I thought a blog was the perfect way!

The stuff on this blog  can vary a lot, I love fashion etc. but I'm not just shallow me.

Anyway, read my blog if you like it.
Dont read it if you dont!

xx Lena